The Best Post Thus Far

My doctor had told me that once I'd been feeling pretty well for a solid three months in a row, we'd experiment with coming off of the antibiotics and continuing with just herbal treatment.  Although I was well aware that I'd been steadily feeling better for a while, it was a complete shock to me when she said "you just refilled all your antibiotics?  Okay, so finish them this month and don't refill them" at my appointment at the end of September.  I had to count to myself...  "August, September, Octo... yep, that'll be three months..."  I was taken by surprise, but my eyes filled with tears because I was so unbelievably happy to hear those words.  I cried happy tears all the way home.  I couldn't believe that I'm doing well enough to be doing this.

Scary Parts (in honor of Halloween...?):  

We don't know for sure if it's time to pull off.  This is all a test.  Unfortunately, there's no way to know if we've successfully killed enough of these buggers for me to stop the antibiotics and fight with just herbals, other than for me to come off of the antibiotics and see what happens.  I still have some symptoms, but my doctor seems to think some may be permanent from damage to my nervous system after so many years of Lyme, and some may come and go during especially stressful times in life.  We're trying to figure out what my new baseline is.  Every person should be conscious of their stress levels, and stress catches up with everyone eventually.  But stress, an injury, another illness, any of those could throw me right back to where I was.  I need to live as consciously as possible-- to eat healthily, to exercise, to get good sleep, to limit stress, etc.-- which isn't a bad thing.  

The other scary part:  A relapse could be obvious right away, or it could take months, or years.  So that's comforting.  Also, my doctor said that if I were to relapse, she wouldn't put me back on oral antibiotics because that would mean they weren't getting deep enough into my nervous system; she would do injections for sure.  If you recall, that's what she wanted to put me on initially, but my insurance won't touch it with a ten-foot pole, and it would be about $2,000 for a three-month round.  That's scary for my body and our wallet.  

The other thing that's not helping my anxiety over this is that my doctor is retiring.  I saw her for the last time last week!  Another doctor is taking over her practice, and she's assured me that he's "next-in-line" for Lyme expertise in the Portland area, as far as experience goes.  The timing of me coming off all my meds, saying goodbye to my current doctor, and waiting for my first appointment with my new doctor feels scary to me...   iBut we have plans if things go awry over the next month, and I'm confident that they won't.  

On To the Good Stuff:  

Okay enough of the scares...  On to the good stuff!  I'm not taking pharmaceutical antibiotics anymore!!!!!  Weeeee!  I finished my Azithromycin last week, finished my Rifampin on Monday, and finished my Ceftin on Tuesday, and I am SO happy to be getting that stuff out of my system after a year.  I'm going in to this with happy thoughts that I am well on my way to remission and I don't need those drugs anymore.  I'm focusing on keeping my mind right, and how good of a thing it is to be removing those extra toxins from my body, rather than focusing on the fear of removing them.  I am feeling pretty darn well and began working out again this week, for the first time in a long time.  I did start another Bartonella tincture (herbal antibiotic aimed at killing Bartonella, since that seems to be hitting me harder than Lyme) to replace the pharmaceuticals I just came off of, and the plan is to continue treating herbally for probably 6 months or so, then try coming off altogether.  

My new doctor will pick up right where my old doctor left off, and will continue monitoring me and doing bloodwork to make sure all my organs are functioning properly.  I'm nervous, but so excited, and unbelievably thankful to be at this point.  

Please keep me in your thoughts and send all your positive energy for me to continue healing!  

Onward ho!